Do what you say, say what you do.

To change behavior, there are some important aspects that you need to be consistent with. "Do what you say, say what you do".  Follow through is important! When you say No, it should stick to No. If he is having a meltdown, you can jump in to block from injury, but give no attention to the behavior. Wait for child to calm down. 

Offer alternatives and choices to your child, that is almost/equal to his favorite. Consider something that he likes and the value is worth from what he wants previously. "We can't have the train set, but we can have ice cream instead". If he refuses, make it clear that the deal is off. Follow through! 

Also, remember to catch the good behavior! If you want to give what he wants, use this chance to reward them. For example, "You have been listening so well! Lets go get you a train set!" 

p/s: besides screaming at your child for their inappropriate behavior, remember to acknowledge their good behavior when it comes out spontaneously too! 

Talking about Behavior

Behavior is everything that we do or say. To change behavior, start finding the Whys before working the Hows. Bear in mind the four Ways of behavior - sensory, escape, attention and tangible. Remember, there are reasons behind every behavior, you just have to look more in depth towards it.

As when a behavior occur, analyze, keep track on the Antecedent, Behavior and Consequences every time it happen. When you keep track on the details, you may see a consistent behavior pattern. By then, you can work on finding how to react to your child behavior next time. It is important to find the function/whys of a behavior as to avoid you from reinforcing that inappropriate behaviors.

A behavior is a learned behavior. Child learned that any behavior he exhibits may lead to getting what he wants. Conclusion: behavior happen because it was maintained by something reinforcing. Apparently, your consequences behavior play roles in the changes. 

Again, and again.

Rearranging or decorating is one of my favorite thing to do. This MCO really brings back all the "habits" that I used to have during my high school years. I used to re-arrange & de-clutter my room a lot (like every week?) last time, but it stopped when I started juggling my days with work. So since I have more time now, this is on the highest hierarchy that makes my MCO more lively. 

p/s: it always much better if you have more $$ to spend  

Love beyond Boundaries

Husbands not meeting the wife, parents apart from the kids, grandparents are thousand miles away from the grandchildren, couples with only a video call away at nights, friends getting only a virtual fist bum on Plato. In this current situation, some may not be able to meet one another like how they used to. Some may stuck with one another, 24/7. Some spend most of the time joyously with the loved ones. But some, may experience the other way. I believe despite the boundaries, love is still there much in the air. We may not see one another at sight, but we are all always at heart. I believe that everything has its silver linings. May this boundaries build bigger and deeper love between us all. Never take time, space and opportunity for granted once this end. Give up some time to call, and meet your loved ones. Because we never know when we can't, anymore.

#BooksAsOutfits

Up to this #BooksAsOutfits Challenge. Gotta do more, gotta do more.
Here's my goodreads if yeah: https://www.goodreads.com/mandywzh

Home All Day

Hey, I have lost count of the days. Most probably we are in our Day 30, as today marks the third phase of our MCO. I am getting comfortable with my new "normal" yet still can be clueless at times. Every single day I wish to do something worth my time. I hate thinking that I'll just waste another secs  doing nothing at home so, apparently, I read and I watch. I actually forced myself to. It works, sometimes. But often, I procrastinate joyously.

As I am in my off-mode for work, I rarely did anything work-related except some readings and oh, I did participated in the tele-health training and trial session for my client last week. It was a good experience. I planned, put everything up on slides, and conducted the session all in one and a half day time. That's just it. Telehealth is tiring. I was sweating like heck after that friggin an hour session, (even with my aircond on!). The struggles to shared stuffs on screen, the lagging videos, the fact to get your clients attention virtually, & the worst of all, the poor Wifi connection. Ah despite that, it went all good. Fingers crossed! x

Anyway, I hope all goes well for everybody. Be it physically, financially, and emotionally. Together, we are in this. We can't lose hope. We can't lose faith. Stay positive!

MCO2020

Hello,

While I'm posting this, I'm actually in my Day 3 of our 14-days Movement Control Order due to this COVID-19 outbreak. As to help control & reduce the rising numbers of cases daily, the government had issued a restriction of movements throughout the states, to everybody which means, no work, no malls, no datings, no nothing. Only those who work under essential services are allowed to go out. And only if you've emergency cases to attend to.

Malls are closed, and restaurants only attends to delivery & takeaways. It feels awkwards, but nothing else to say except a billion thanks to those who still gotta work to make sure that we're all safe. Thank you for all the sacrifices despite the risks. To my mom, too. She's the only one in the house who is still working. And to my dad, who has to send & fetch her everyday.

Anyway, I believe that everything happened for reasons. It surely can be a wake up call for everybody, definitely a precious time to self-reflect. May this outbreak ends really soon.

#believe

I've thousands of unanswered questions that kept on buzzing me, non-stop. I kept on questioning myself on everything that I've done. Was it too much? Was it me? Did I? I can put all the blame on my shoulder too. I can take all the hates, and cry, and get back stronger tomorrow. I can, and I am actually doing it everyday. Just that, I wonder, 'til when?

I know this isn't healthy. So, I take a step back.
Strong? less likely. Struggling, but surely.

 & I hope it worth the struggles.

Hurts

I know what exactly I should do, but then I just can't. It's hard, superb hard. When both the heart and brain tends to linger the opposites way, you know exactly where they gonna lead you. But there's you, sitting right there looking like an idiot, in denial. 

This is not the first time, but this time it hits real bad. Maybe because it is not just about me, it is about my life, those people that means the world to me. I less likely to let my ego in moreover when it comes to this context. I tend to put everything away, because I value this more than myself, my ego. Usually, I don't care how silly I may look like, but this time, is different. Totally different. 

You may not meant it that way, but it hurts real bad. 

First post: Twenty20

Hello dusty bloggie,

Have you ever imagined that I'll be back after three years? even my last post was published in 2017, and hey, here am I now, on January, 20th of 2020 trying to access my ancient account. Years passed, tonnes of things happened. It has been three years since I started my career, paying my own bills and monthly commitments, & I am turning 26 this year too, insyaAllah. What a journey ey! Tried to sum up the highlights but I lost track on what comes first.

Anyway, my last post was me talking about graduation, but now I am one of the few Registered Behavior Technicians in Malaysia, practicing ABA therapy for kids. There were older posts talking about heartbreaks, but now I am #diblyinlove with this amazing (sometimes very annoying) guy I hope is "the one" despite all the hates we share. There were postings about my friends, in which currently, half of them are married, some have adding up the heirs, some losing, some are already sending the kids to kindergarten yet some, are still single.. since the past 3 years haha!!

Amazing. I now realized how much I take things for granted. There are tremendous of joys in my life, be it my career, love life, family and friends. So much ways to be grateful for, that I tend to overlook it. Breathe in, breathe out. Alhamdulillah for all these beautiful sweet-sour journey.